Feeling Called Isn’t the Same as Being Ready

For a long time, I believed I was called to foster. And maybe I was. But over time I learned something that took courage to admit.

Sometimes what we call a “calling” is actually something deeper. Sometimes it’s pain. Sometimes it’s unfinished healing. Sometimes it’s the part of us that once needed saving trying to make sure no one else feels that same hurt.

I know that feeling well.

I was adopted. I understood rejection. I understood abandonment.

So when the opportunity came to help children in foster care, my heart said yes without hesitation.

I believed love and good intentions would be enough. But foster care is not built on intentions. It’s built on trauma, complicated systems, broken families, and children who carry wounds that love alone cannot instantly heal.

And if someone isn’t prepared for that reality, the experience can break them. Or worse… it can break the child again.

It took me years to understand that part of my desire to help came from my own unhealed places. And once I realized that, everything changed. Not because I stopped caring. But because I started telling the truth.

Now when people ask me about foster care, I don’t give them the polished version.

I give them the real one. Because sometimes the most loving thing you can do for someone is not to encourage them toward something difficult…but to make sure they truly understand what they’re stepping into.

A lighthouse doesn’t rescue ships.

It simply shines a light so they can see the rocks before they crash.